Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Out of control
I feel like my life has been spinning out of control and I'm having trouble keeping up. Some days I'd just like to crawl in bed and pull the covers over my head.
Work is crazy and I'm not getting the satisfaction from it that I used to. I'm not sure if I'm just here for the money and the location (it's about 7 min. from home) or if I still like what I'm doing. For the most part I like what I do, I like working on computers - I'm a geek at heart. And for the most part I like the people I work with but I'm stuck between two managers that are always in this giant pissing contest and I'm not sure how much longer I can stand them! I usually don't mind being the only female in the group (I tend to work better with men then women) but one of the managers looks at me as his personal secretary and I'm about to tell him to shove it up his ass.
Home is just as crazy, I thought with one kid off at college things might ease up a little but nope, the other two just seem to have more going on! I spend most of my time when not at work running them around or going to their games and school functions. Homework is never ending which is something new, the boys never seemed to need much help with their homework but Sarah (the youngest) needs a lot of help and I'm not the most patient when she doesn't get something fairly quickly (I know, I know...bad mother). I do most of the cooking and cleaning at home too, the kids help but Tim seems to think that his job ends when he leaves work and he can come home and just plop his ass in the recliner. It's causing a lot of arguments which just adds to my overall stress level.
My diet and exercise have been a joke lately. The gym is hit or miss, more miss lately than hit and the diet has been a lot of high fat high calorie foods. I've gained back all but about 5 lbs. of the 35 lbs. I'd lost on Body for Life and eDiets. Now I'm heading into the holidays feeling fat, tired and ugly.....HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS!
To top everything off and maybe what has me having such a whine fest......Kim is moving to Florida. Kim works with Tim (my hubby)and the joke is she is his work wife. We are all very close, we go to lunch together almost every day (more since we know she is leaving, this really hasn't helped with the diet so it may be a good thing she is leaving LOL), she is my gym buddy (we go at4:30 am...not many people like to get up that early but it worked for us) we talk all the time and are always there for each other. I'm going to miss her but it's not just that, this will mean that my three best girl friends will all be far away. Aura is in Kentucky; Barb is in Houston (which is only 4 hours away but we don't ever seem to have time to get together and Kim will be in Florida.
God, I feel like such a baby whining like this but I can't seem to stop myself. Time to go back to bed....just kidding....I think.